Weight loss

There are times when we are so full of trouble with all sorts of baggage gathered in our mind that we feel heavy and sluggish. Wish we could shed some weight. 

There are two ways of losing weight. We can cut off some flesh. This is what we try to do when we feel like running away from a relationship not working out the way we want. But it would be painful and leave deep wounds, and we will perhaps keep blaming the surgeon for the damage. 

Or we can lose some weight through intelligent dieting and exercise. We have to think whether the way we are leading our lives is good for us. Our associations, the thoughts we are exposed to, the sensual temptations that are there in our environment - are they adding to our mental unrest? If so, it is time for a little diet-control. Also for exercising those unused muscles of will. 

In yoga we exercise a lot of those muscles that are usually neglected. "Willpower" and "Saying No" come into these categories (Saying "Yes" may also be an unused muscle for some!). Let us sometimes exercise those muscles - just for the sake of it. This is the practice of tapas. As the minds comes to know itself more and more, rajasic energetic muscles build up and tamasic lazy fat reduces.

Be a good photographer

The novice photographer can take good pictures only in good conditions -- bright sunlit beaches and mountains. The expert photographer can take a good picture even in poor conditions. He knows how to adjust the camera settings and even if outside light is not okay, the picture will come out well.

Neither does a good photographer look for only beautiful faces to photograph. Award-winning photos are those of unusual nature, where the photographer's insight and skill has brought beauty out of a mundane setting.

The mind is infinitely more complex than a camera, but it is only a mechanical device, like a camera. Let us learn how it works, inside out, so that we are able to adjust it as needed and to see the world brightly in all conditions and at all times.

And when the lighting gets too bad, let's use a flash and brighten up the world ourselves.

Fly a kite

Sustaining a relationship is like flying a kite. Strong jerks can break the thread. Stresses and difficulties abound, but should be evenly spread and quickly released. 

At the same time, these temporay grievances are the mechanisms through which the relationship rises to another level. Too much slack will make it hit the ground. 

A relationship can grow only if it keeps hitting boundaries, keeps recognising the needs of the other person. When the need does not register, there is no caring response, and the relationship simply floats apart. 

 In its infancy, it needs a lot of skill and care to avoid the ground obstacles -- buildings, trees and lamp-posts. Only after it reaches some height can it fly freely, leaving other entanglements behind. 

 An enlightened relationship, like a high-flying kite, embodies freedom and unlimited vision of the mind.

Dharma vs Karma

Kriya as per dharma gathers no karma. Activity as per norms of rightful conduct leaves no residue in the mind. 

There is no residue when the mind knows that it has acted as it should have, checked out against some reference list. Before choosing an activity, before making a response, let us stop and think. Will it leave a residue in the mind? If it seems so, let us not do that action. Delve deep and see what is being violated from that reference list. Is it a basic value? Will it cause harm to somebody? Or is it just some mental position being opposed? If it is just a position, we can try to free ourselves from that position. If we cannot then let us not do that activity. No activity is worth the residue. 

There will be times when we are able to do neither -- not stop the activity, nor let go of the position. Let us just be aware of the clash and concentrate on sadhana. As the mind clarifies, one of the two will slowly dissolve.

Dealing with that feeling

A feeling does not necessarily need action. 

Like a small child creating trouble in order to be noticed, all it needs is some loving attention lighting it up and soothing it with a beam of awareness. Thinking that all feelings expressed by a child need to be acted upon is ignorant parenting. An aware parent will mostly satisfy the child by giving it attention. After that, the course of action (including inaction), will depend on what the parent knows to be ultimately good for the child. Ignorant and reactive parents raise spoilt and dependent children. 

So it is with the mind. Let us recognise the feeling, giving it loving attention to satisfy its demand to be noticed, and then get on with what needs to be done as per yukti. Action should ultimately arise from yukti, while ensuring that the feelings have been duly recognised and assuaged, so that they do not hijack the action half-way.

The final goal

Be one-pointed. 

Have you ever seen a film clip of a parachutist landing in a circle on the ground? Sometimes they film it from top, with his feet showing on screen and the circle wavering beyond. During the travel down, beautiful sceneries pass beneath his feet -- rolling mountains, wandering rivers; birds fly around him and the billowing parachute is so colourful against the sky. The parachutist loves it all -- it is why he goes skydiving. 

But he never loses sight of that circle on the ground. While enjoying all this, he ensures that the aim of his feet keep coming back to that circle drawn far away, but getting bigger all the time. 

 The only truth of life is death. The only purpose of life is managing death well. Life is there to distract and to give enjoyment. But death, like gravity, has its inexorable pull. The single-pointed mind, intensely focussed on retaining poise and landing with light feet in the circle, is ever ready to pass through death.

Live for death

The most important state of mind is that which happens at the point of death. 

That is the the only travelling-case that is carried from this life to the next one, and the contents are very important. The serenity, peace or calmness that we so desire to achieve should actually be a constant state. As if, if I were to die now, I should be able to do so without regrets. 

But how many of us can say that right now? It is difficult to keep cleaning the house all the time expecting a surprise visit from your mother-in-law. 

So do it once a day, thoroughly and honestly, and not just shoving the dirty things out of sight into drawers, but also throwing them out altogether. Look at yourself in the mirror. Are there black marks on the serenity? Wash your face during meditation. Use prayers and gratitude as soap. If every morning the house is clean, your mother-in-law can never find much dirt, no? 

Preparing for death is not an old man's job. The purpose of life is to prepare for death. So the earlier we start preparing, the better prepared we are.

A desire is never new

When a desire appears in the mind, it has already been enjoyed. 

Is there any way I can desire for a sweet without knowing how it tastes? Something totally unknown can never be desired. Either I have enjoyed it earlier, or someone else has told me about it and I have tasted the possible enjoyment by comparing it with something similar, or by knowing what the components taste like. 

For example, if I have never had a rasgullah, and someone says that it is sweet-tasting, it is spongy, it has lots of syrup, then I know how it tastes because I know how the components taste. There can never be a desire for something totally new. 

Something is desirable because the image of my or someone else's enjoyment has arisen in my mind. In MY mind. So my mind has already enjoyed it. What is the point of repeating the sensory enjoyment? 

Anything desirable has already been enjoyed. Let us be happy with the feeling and watch the desire diminish.

Meditation is like popcorn and coke

You know, when there is an interval in a movie and the lights come on again, and you pull yourself out of the story and the characters of the movie you were so engrossed in till now, and look around and feel the hardness of the seat again and see the people around and maybe buy a popcorn and coke .......... get back to the real world from the unreal. 

Meditation takes us back to the real Self from the unreal world around us. This is also nothing but a 3-D film show. Meditation provides the break or relief from the fantasy that exercises our minds and emotions all the time.

The nature of need

Worse than having a need unfulfilled is to leave it unrecognised. 

Recognising the need forces us to give the need a shape and size and define the depth of its cavity. It defines the amount of energy that the need has a potential to consume. It enables us to look at that need with the background of all other needs and to unconciously decide whether the gratification is worth the energy that will be spent. 

All this thought in fact reduces the energy-potential of the need and it may finally consume far less energy for gratification. Even leaving it unfulfilled finally may not result in a very big energy leakage.

What is dishonesty?

Honesty, as a matter of fact, has no relevence in the past or future. 

What is dishonesty actually? Normally if I understand something in one way and talk about it in another way, I would be called dishonest. But that is actually misrepresentation. I am fully aware of this gap and a acting with a particular objective in mind. 

Dishonesty is the gap between the "real" and the "understood". The only thing real to us are our thoughts and feelings. When our perception of ourselves becomes a distorted view of what actually passes through our minds, dishonesty happens. The distortions are driven by what we would like ourselves to be, which blanks out thoughts and emotions that do not match this image. Someone once said: "There are usually two reasons for doing something - the real one, and the one which sounds good." 

The first and only thing to be honest about is ourselves, our thoughts and feelings arising continuously in our conciousness, and the conclusions that we draw about our nature on that basis. This can happen only in the present moment. Let us be intensely aware of all that is happeneing inside us at the present moment. Let us be honest with ourselves and act based on that honesty. The action that follows will be spontaneous and without effort and will leave little residue. 

Only in the concious Now can Honesty happen. The rest is Misrepresentation.

Age reversal

To be at ease with all people, treat a child like an adult and an adult like a child. 

Give children the respect that you would give an adult. Ascribing adult expectations to him expands his mind. Only in the company of adults a child grows up. 

Give adults the allowance for mistakes and imperfect behaviour that you would give to a child. It is easier to accept and love people if we consider them to be grown up children.

Is effort admirable?

Where there is an effort, there was no intention. 

An intention is a spontaneous willingness to act, arising from feeling. An effort is an intellectual proposal, where the intellect says there is need to act in a certain manner whereas the heart is silent. 

The value of receiving anything in a relationship, be it words or action, lies in the heart innate in it. Let us never ask for an effort, because, if it has not come by itself, it will now come without heart. Whatever comes without asking is pure and accompanied by love, and is worth feeling grateful for.

Honesty and freedom

A relationship cannot have honesty and freedom at the same time. 

In a relationship, the expression of one person's feelings affects another. When there is such an effect, there is a lack of freedom. When, through a commitment to honesty, one person expresses, his/her feelings to the other, the other person is bound to feel pressurised to change his/her behaviour. 

If there is full honesty and full freedom at the same time, the people involved have, in fact, transcended the need for a relationship.