Bow and arrow

We mostly lay a lot of stress on reason and look upon emotions as dangerous things, things that play topsy-turvy in an ordered world and makes us do things we regret later. I think we need to pay a lot more respect to emotion if we are to benefit by it. 

There are two areas where emotion plays the driver's role - in our memories, and in our strength of action. 

 What is it that we remember? We remember those incidents that are emotionally charged. Even when we remember facts, apparently dry facts, it is because of a background 'fear' of what may happen or what inconveniences we may face if we forget those facts. We remember more 'things to do' related to our loved ones than to our colleagues. Some memories make us happy; they are massaging our ego and loving ourselves. Some memories cause regret; they revive the feelings of fear, guilt, distaste. To an acute or to a mild degree, it is these feelings related to the events that drive our memory. We would hardly remember something purely 'reasonable'. So many thoughts keep crowding our mind. If we want relief from a particular thought, we have to understand the emotion that is tying that thought to us. Freedom follows. 

 Similarly, our actions are 90% driven by feeling. When we say we 'feel' like doing it, it is perfectly true and not an abberation. This feeling, the love for that particular action in anticipation of events that will follow, is what drives the action. The trick, however, is to feel like doing the 'reasonably correct' thing. If I say I am a principled person, I mean I love the execution of principles and love that version of me that encourages principles. This love drives me. If we allow ourselves to love the right qualities, then our actions will always be good. 

 Reason is the arrow. Feeling is the bow.

Because I felt like it

Has anybody ever won a medal for rolling down a slope? It is the one who climbs the mountain who is appreciated.

Doing something according to one's feelings is nothing great. It is the thing easiest to do and requires no decision or discrimination. There are people who pride themselves on their "naturalness" or "innocence", saying they eat when they feel hungry, sleep when they want to, have sex, tell somebody on his face that he is disliked, wear all their feelings on their sleeves and pour them on any body's head that is near.

Such people are not innocent, just irresponsible. Going by feelings is good when the feeling supports right action. But it is right action, that too for long-term or greater good, that is important. Those who go purely by feelings either do not have the capacity to see right action in its perspective, or do not have the patience to stop and think.

The only person who can afford to go by his feelings is the one who has got out of all reactiveness, whose feeling itself is always the right feeling of love.

Waves and floods

Feelings are of two types -- waves and floods. 

All reactive feelings are like waves. Anger comes in a wave. Desire comes in a wave. We feel a wave of envy. A wave of sorrow washes over us. If we are aware that they are reactions and just waves, they subside again safely and do not spill over the brim of our internal emotional world and become a reactive action in the external physical world. 

Sometimes when wave after wave comes, the feeling settles down to a high steady level, like a flooded land. Desire purifying into love is such a feeling. Anger burning permanently as hatred is such a feeling. Sorrow solidifying into grief is also such a feeling. Actions arise continually out of this flood almost without control and become part of our nature. 

The wise one treats the wave as a wave. He does not allow them to become part of his nature. Except for Love (which is the sea itself), he guards against any other basis of spontaneous action.

Dealing with that feeling

A feeling does not necessarily need action. 

Like a small child creating trouble in order to be noticed, all it needs is some loving attention lighting it up and soothing it with a beam of awareness. Thinking that all feelings expressed by a child need to be acted upon is ignorant parenting. An aware parent will mostly satisfy the child by giving it attention. After that, the course of action (including inaction), will depend on what the parent knows to be ultimately good for the child. Ignorant and reactive parents raise spoilt and dependent children. 

So it is with the mind. Let us recognise the feeling, giving it loving attention to satisfy its demand to be noticed, and then get on with what needs to be done as per yukti. Action should ultimately arise from yukti, while ensuring that the feelings have been duly recognised and assuaged, so that they do not hijack the action half-way.