Heart and head

A person of the heart has wisdom of what is happening. 

A person of head has wisdom of what may happen. 

A person of freedom enjoys the first and understands the second at the same time.

The lotus leaf

Like water falling on a lotus leaf, events fall on our mind.

Our mental make-up is like our fingers holding up the lotus leaf on our fingertips. Like our fingers have different lengths, the balance of our value systems, virtues and vices, define the tilt of the leaf, towards the right or the wrong.

Events keep falling on our mind as an endless stream of water drops. Which way they roll off (ie which way we react) depends on the tilt of the leaf.

For the reactive person, his tilt is set. If he is "naturally" good, his reactions are always kind and generous; else it is "naturally bad" - always selfish and arrogant.

For the person with some attempt at self-knowledge, he tries to be good by adjusting the fingers -- imbibing good values, not reacting without contemplating which way his mind is tilted.

For the jnyani, the knowledgeable one, he has consciously eliminated all tilt -- the drops stay at the centre till he decides which way he wants them to flow out.

For the karma-yogi, his focus is on work and not on the result of work. The leaf is like a funnel and all drops flow through the centre, gathering neither good nor bad karma, irrespective of his mental tilt.

For the bhakta -- well, he has thrown away the leaf and his mind. The drops fall right through and go wherever they want - he cares not.

How are you holding your leaf?

In God we trust -- the rest pay cash !

In our world, being trusting has become synonymous with being foolish and weak. Being mistrustful and cynical is being smart. 

There is great power and freedom in being trusting. A trusting person never loses peace of mind. For him, the ball is always in the other court! He does not have to worry about judging, decision-making, accepting, rejecting, ensuring, insuring. 

Of course, a trusting person has to start by accepting the position that he has nothing much to lose. The person at the receiving end of the trust is left holding the baby. He has to move carefully lest he drops it! By and large people are honest and sincere and do not misuse another person's trust. What does your experience say? In fact, having a bad experience with one person is far less troubling than having to be mistrustful of every person, isn't it? It's like removing guards from banks -- their salaries was found to cost more than loss from robberies! 

Let's not be afraid to trust. Misusing the trust is the other person's problem. Let's not be averse to ascribing a good motive to someone's action. Being wrong is the other person's loss. Let's not be uneasy about keeping silent. A good point not uttered is little loss compared to a possibly hurtful thing said.

Against the grain

The owner of a beautiful face is often proud of it. Why? A beautiful face is mostly a gift of nature and not an achievement. We may admire and enjoy a pretty face and even compliment the owner, but we'll rarely give credit as an achievement and say: "Good job!" 

So is it with a beautiful nature. Some people are generous, some are kind, some are patient and understanding - by nature. It is good, but not necessarily an accomplishment. Our nature is partly gifted by Nature, and partly sculpted by our upbringing. The true thing to admire is right action in spite of wrong nature. 

When we speak of virtues - truthfulness, generosity, compassion etc - they are all actionable virtues; they can take us to right action even if the particular circumstance would not have encouraged such action in the normal course of things. An unkind person performing a kind act gains much more merit than a naturally kind person doing so. A person who is "not so nice" performing an act of generosity against the grain, deserves applause. He is playing against a handicap.

Four stages of spiritual growth

The ordinary person is in a stage of "unconcious incompetence". He is emotionally inept and very reactive. But he is not aware that it is so and feels he is the best of the lot.

With some learning and growth comes the stage of "concious incompetence". He awakens to the understanding that he is a servant to his emotions and that this is not the way to be; but he still does not know how to equip his mind and handle emotions better.

Then comes the seeker or the spiritual practitioner, in a stage of "concious competence". He has formulated the way to act as per principles and is trying not to let his feelings overtake right living, through abhyasa and knowledge.

And finally is the enlightened one, who can afford not to be careful about his reactions any more, since they have been programmed into right conduct. Like a professional car driver, he is now in "unconcious competence".

Because I felt like it

Has anybody ever won a medal for rolling down a slope? It is the one who climbs the mountain who is appreciated.

Doing something according to one's feelings is nothing great. It is the thing easiest to do and requires no decision or discrimination. There are people who pride themselves on their "naturalness" or "innocence", saying they eat when they feel hungry, sleep when they want to, have sex, tell somebody on his face that he is disliked, wear all their feelings on their sleeves and pour them on any body's head that is near.

Such people are not innocent, just irresponsible. Going by feelings is good when the feeling supports right action. But it is right action, that too for long-term or greater good, that is important. Those who go purely by feelings either do not have the capacity to see right action in its perspective, or do not have the patience to stop and think.

The only person who can afford to go by his feelings is the one who has got out of all reactiveness, whose feeling itself is always the right feeling of love.

Do we need honesty in relationships?

The goal of living is to generate minimum emotional residue.

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Internally, honesty achieves this, as we are relieved that there are no complications involved, no lies to remember, no pitfalls in future discussions. Externally, the other person is also aware of all circumstances and is in sync. He or she can then respond with honesty in his or her own way and a second step is made on firm ground. This is enlightened relationship.

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But unfortunately, we are mostly not so divine. If the receiver of honesty is not equipped to handle it, there is great emotional charge generated that is sure to leave emotional residue -- as grief, resentment, defensiveness etc. Over time, maybe the receiver also becomes more equipped to handle honesty. However, the skill of the first person lies in being a responsible judge of how much load of honesty will leave minimum emotional residue in the whole system.

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Honesty per se should not be a code of living. It should be a tool, like ego can be used as a tool, to flow through life generating minimum residue.