The first step

As I grew older in life, passed through difficult times and gained 'wisdom', was able to tell what is the 'right' decision to take in a situation, I found that for me it became more dificult to make out what is right and for whom it is right. It was displayed time and again how absolutely individualistic are our experiences, how self-serving even the simplest decision. Even a great sacrifice for a loved one IS self-serving, because it serves the attachment that we have towards the person. We would not feel like making that same sacrifice for a non-loved one.

Similarly, it is a great past-time to advise people because our experience, in our eyes, is vast, our judgement universal, and the acceptance of our advice mandatory. When I just decide to close my eyes to this whole shebang and look at the bed of the lake, the only person to understand, moderate and deal with is Myself. Approach towards others in our life finally boils down to a few simple emotional directives:

1. Before judging, understand. Simply understand. Accept that what the other person is feeling is TRUE - it is true to him or her, before it becomes right or wrong. Acknowledge that truth of its existence.
2. Before advising, help. Before advising someone to buy a dish-washer, help her to wash dishes by hand, standing beside her. Before asking someone to get a grip on himself and get out of the emotional quagmire he is in, be in that quagmire with him and struggle for some time.

That way, one becomes a soothing influence. We are not here to change the world order. The world changes as a sum total all the time. We are here to ensure that the progression is smooth, that's all.
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