A champion's blister

When in college, I was a champion carrom player. But every year, before the contest season began, I had to go through a minor ordeal.

When I would start playing after a longish gap, the skin on my thumb at the contact point would start to peel and then to blister, which would burst and again re-form. Only when a hard callus formed at that point on my thumb would my aim suddenly improve...and then whatever I hit would zip towards the pockets.

This process taught me two life lessons. The first - and more obvious one - was that we all have to go through a preparation process of hardship and pain before we can become successful at whtever goal we plan to pursue.

However, the second lesson is less obvious. This callus-forming process used to take around a month, so I had to, strategically, start playing through this rough patch more than a month before the competition. If I started playing straightaway at the competitive matches, I would be nowhere, knocked out in the first couple of rounds itself. 

Similarly, for us, mentally, this process of toughening up has to start far before we hit adult life and take on responsibilities and serious challenges - the championship game, so to speak. We often give our children a pretty easy time when they are growing up, thinking that anyway they have to be burdened with responsibilities soon, so let them play around now. However, we would be doing them a great service if we allowed some scrapes, some blisters to form while growing up, so that when they play the first serious match, their skin is callused and their aim is true. Otherwise, before they know what hit them, they would have missed the first job offer, lost the first life partner, messed up a few friendships, mishandled the first sales team...and in general perhaps got diverted to a life by default instead of a life by choice, just because they did not know how to handle themselves, how to aim true.

For those of us who still have children who are growing up, let us not protect them like oysters. They will develop a shell, but will never grow a spine.

Second chance

Do you know when do we get a second chance at growing up? When we ourselves become parents. 

The best way to teach the child is to walk the talk. We know all about good behaviour and moral values in theory, but when we try to teach it to our children and if we take a moment to review whether our own behaviour is reflecting what we are talking about, we shall find ourselves short on various fronts. 

This is the opportunity for believing whole-heartedly in the importance of providing a role-model and doing those small corrections, those adjustments to our way of life, that will ensure that the values that we wish our children to learn is reinforced by the life that they witness at home. In the process, we ourselves can rejuvinate our stilted personalities and grow again.