Won't power

There is a convention in some Indian rituals where we have to promise to forgo some edible thing for a period of time, if not forever. Some of us mention some weird food we never eat anyway, so that this promise is not an inconvenience.

Why is this convention there at all? Like many rituals, this particular action is also linked to betterment of life and character - in this case, development of willpower. There are two types of actions where willpower can be exercised and developed. One is the I WILL type, where we become determined to do something, whatever the odds; and the other is the I WON'T type, where we decide to forgo some favourite action. In both, an exertion of will is required, but in the first one, the universe also has to co-operate to a certain degree, which makes execution more complicated. If I say, I WILL go to Bangalore, it can become possible only if trains and flights are running, if I have money, if my wife allows and so on. However, if I say I WON'T go to Bangalore, it is only my own attraction for Bangalore that I have to fight.

That is why, in rituals, the easier option is given, to forgo some favourite thing, and to develop will power in the process. This is the practice of tapah.

Suppose I have mentioned some weird fruit that I will forgo, knowing full well that I will not undergo any hardship at all. The universe being the clever and kind being that it is, will make sure that an occasion pops up where that fruit comes in front of me with almost no option of refusing, maybe mixed with another favourite food, or without any other option in a situation of hunger, so that I am forced to honour my tapah.

Deliberate tapah is a habit breaker, a will-strengthener and leads to a freer mind.

The Karmic software

When we sit down to play a computer game, say PubG, we know very well the program is nothing but miles and miles of code. The logic path being traveled by the player is being depicted in space and time on the computer screen.

But tell me, before we start playing we know that the program contains this space and time, right? Are they real, or do they exist as a potential?

The Karmic program is shimmering all around us, already written in all possibilities, and we trace decision-based-paths that become real for us. Whatever could happen, whenever it could have happened, exists as a potential already. As we live the moment, our chosen paths become reality to us.

Or it could be that all possibilities are not written out in the Karmic program. Imagine PubG written as a condition-fulfilling AI that keeps writing out the next step of the program based on the set of decisions taken by all the players every moment. Saves storage, right? The past program can be wiped out, the future program yet to be written, so that the program itself reduces to a few lines of rolling code defining the reality of the consequences of the current action. Logic paths reduce. For all we know, our karmic program may be working that way too.

In either case, existence seems like a manifestation of program outcomes with space and time being manufactured constructs of the same program. Nothing is real except the decisions being taken by the players at the particular moment.

Who is looking through me?

For many many years, on many occasions, I would suddenly stop and ask myself, "Who is this person who is looking through me?" Someone is. Why were my eyes chosen by him? Why am I the person who is the funnel of existence?

I suddenly realised, like a book slowly flipping over with a thud, that I was asking the wrong question. I should have asked, "Why am I looking through this body?" The I-ness is with the experiencer, the liquid flowing through, not the body-mind funnel. The funnel then loses importance, becomes incidental, inconsequential, by the way. Consciousness starts glowing beyond the experience.

Novak's T shirt

I saw Djockovitch take off his shirt, when he won Wimbledon yesterday, and throw it to someone in the crowd. It was a sweaty piece of cloth, but had great value since Novak had worn it. 

What about us? Do we feel an increase in our own value when we are associated with some particular thing or action, like wearing a brand, visiting a place, occupying a position or knowing certain people? Or do we lend value to something else when we are associated with it? Like do people want us to be part of a team for our own sake, or member of a board because it increases the worth of the board? Do people want us at a gathering in whatever manner or time we may choose to come, since we are worth it? Do we glorify a seat or does the seat the glorify us?

Like Novak, let our shirt increase in value because we have worn it. Not the other way around. Then we can claim to be a person of worth.

The Mario gameplan

Just as computer games started with Pacman, video games probably started with Mario. I am sure many of us were addicted to the little man racing through the levels, jumping over obstacles, holding on to his limited lives and gathering gold nuggets along the way.

Initially, I would be keen just to somehow complete the level. That would be my sole goal. But gradually I started developing my skills at gathering all the nuggets on the way; that became the bigger game than just completing the level. In fact, the bigger the obstacle, the more were the nuggets hanging just beyond reach and I would keep hovering around till I collected all of them.

In life also we initially lock on to the level-completion goals - a paying job, a saving target, a bungalow, certain places to visit. We tend to somehow jump over obstacles and proceed. But I think that  the maximum nuggets of learning and self-growth hang above those difficult situations. We are the losers if we do not recognise this and steel ourselves to hover at the difficult spot, maximising all that is to be learnt from it, about the world outside as well as about us inside. Those are the nuggets that we will  carry beyond the level.

Maximise Mario. Life is a game after all.

Step back

I understand now...

That to take a step forward I need to take a step back.

To understand what is being said, I need to understand where it is coming from.

I cannot console a grieving soul if I am myself crying.

I cannot appreciate this painting called life if my nose is pressed to the canvas.

The best place to enjoy a river is standing on the bank.

Let's take a step back.

Blank screen

When I was still in Muscat, one day I was sitting with my boss while he was indulging in his favourite pasttime - checking his investments online.

"Tell me," I asked him, "What would you do if one day all the screens showed up blank?"

He stared at me for some time, then laughed, as if I had cracked a joke. But I had not. 

I had always believed wealth to be fictional and economics an intellectual convenience of ours. A couple of books that I read recently, written by Israeli historian Harare, confimed and crystallised my thoughts that 80% of the time, we are all living in fictional realities, eg that of wealth. The plus side of this belief in fictional realities is that it is these common beliefs  that have enabled mankind to co-operate and develop so rapidly; and the minus side is - that it is fiction. If we do not take a reality check, we will be leading unreal lives, without realising that we are doing so.

Consider wealth, my favourite subject. Belief in this fiction is based on faith. Faith that the bankers' screens won't go blank. Faith that the piece of paper in my purse will be accepted in a shop (demonitisation made us realise how fictional money is). Faith that the car and house that I supposedly own, legalised (another fiction) by a stamp paper, won't be suddenly used by someone else, forcing me to take judicial help (another fiction).

What is my real wealth? What is it that stays with me throughout my mortal life and grows or suffers with every action of mine? One is, of course, my body, so integrally is it tied to my mortal existence. The other is my mind, which is linked to my body and gives it the direction to act. So if at all there is something that can make me irreversibily wealthy, it is a healthier body and a mind that takes decisions in its favour and in favour of those we come in contact with.

For me, the lockdown provided a much-needed reality check. This was a time when wealth, even if present in its fictional avatar, showed its limitations in adding to my happiness, through the usual means of consumption - like dining out, PVRs, foreign travel and parties. The lockdown made me free to take a look at my real personal wealth - a disease-free body and a prejudice-free mind. That's all one needs.

Stay healthy. Stay humble. Every other aim only serves common fictional realities.