Debt and responsibility

There may be an end to debt, but no end to responsibility. 

There are some people to whom we feel indebted for some good done to us. Some of these debts are so profound that we feel they can never be fully repaid - like to our parents, our guru etc. Others are mentally "paid off" if we do some service in return. 

Responsibility is a feeling from within, which will be there even if we have not received any material help from them that can be accounted - like to our children, our aged parents, spouse, close relatives, best friend etc. It is more a matter of feeling, as if we have invested a bit of our own self in that person, and in taking care of them, we take care of our sense of well-being as well.

Claim - don't blame

An event happens because a previous event has happened. Can anything ever happen in isolation? Like links added in a chain, a string of events uncoil into history.

Any point in the chain can be conveniently pointed at as a cause for everything that followed. That is how the blaming game goes.

Somewhere I have also contributed to the chain. For me, the only thing worthwhile judging is THAT link. That is the only link whose intentions I had some knowledge of. Did I act with the best of intentions - for the overall good for a long period of time? Or was it for a short-term comfort?

The only person I have a right to question is me. Did I act responsibly?

Incidentally, one of the best definitions of responsibility is: "Responsibility is ........ whatever is in your power to do."

Heart and head

A person of the heart has wisdom of what is happening. 

A person of head has wisdom of what may happen. 

A person of freedom enjoys the first and understands the second at the same time.

The lotus leaf

Like water falling on a lotus leaf, events fall on our mind.

Our mental make-up is like our fingers holding up the lotus leaf on our fingertips. Like our fingers have different lengths, the balance of our value systems, virtues and vices, define the tilt of the leaf, towards the right or the wrong.

Events keep falling on our mind as an endless stream of water drops. Which way they roll off (ie which way we react) depends on the tilt of the leaf.

For the reactive person, his tilt is set. If he is "naturally" good, his reactions are always kind and generous; else it is "naturally bad" - always selfish and arrogant.

For the person with some attempt at self-knowledge, he tries to be good by adjusting the fingers -- imbibing good values, not reacting without contemplating which way his mind is tilted.

For the jnyani, the knowledgeable one, he has consciously eliminated all tilt -- the drops stay at the centre till he decides which way he wants them to flow out.

For the karma-yogi, his focus is on work and not on the result of work. The leaf is like a funnel and all drops flow through the centre, gathering neither good nor bad karma, irrespective of his mental tilt.

For the bhakta -- well, he has thrown away the leaf and his mind. The drops fall right through and go wherever they want - he cares not.

How are you holding your leaf?

In God we trust -- the rest pay cash !

In our world, being trusting has become synonymous with being foolish and weak. Being mistrustful and cynical is being smart. 

There is great power and freedom in being trusting. A trusting person never loses peace of mind. For him, the ball is always in the other court! He does not have to worry about judging, decision-making, accepting, rejecting, ensuring, insuring. 

Of course, a trusting person has to start by accepting the position that he has nothing much to lose. The person at the receiving end of the trust is left holding the baby. He has to move carefully lest he drops it! By and large people are honest and sincere and do not misuse another person's trust. What does your experience say? In fact, having a bad experience with one person is far less troubling than having to be mistrustful of every person, isn't it? It's like removing guards from banks -- their salaries was found to cost more than loss from robberies! 

Let's not be afraid to trust. Misusing the trust is the other person's problem. Let's not be averse to ascribing a good motive to someone's action. Being wrong is the other person's loss. Let's not be uneasy about keeping silent. A good point not uttered is little loss compared to a possibly hurtful thing said.

Against the grain

The owner of a beautiful face is often proud of it. Why? A beautiful face is mostly a gift of nature and not an achievement. We may admire and enjoy a pretty face and even compliment the owner, but we'll rarely give credit as an achievement and say: "Good job!" 

So is it with a beautiful nature. Some people are generous, some are kind, some are patient and understanding - by nature. It is good, but not necessarily an accomplishment. Our nature is partly gifted by Nature, and partly sculpted by our upbringing. The true thing to admire is right action in spite of wrong nature. 

When we speak of virtues - truthfulness, generosity, compassion etc - they are all actionable virtues; they can take us to right action even if the particular circumstance would not have encouraged such action in the normal course of things. An unkind person performing a kind act gains much more merit than a naturally kind person doing so. A person who is "not so nice" performing an act of generosity against the grain, deserves applause. He is playing against a handicap.

Four stages of spiritual growth

The ordinary person is in a stage of "unconcious incompetence". He is emotionally inept and very reactive. But he is not aware that it is so and feels he is the best of the lot.

With some learning and growth comes the stage of "concious incompetence". He awakens to the understanding that he is a servant to his emotions and that this is not the way to be; but he still does not know how to equip his mind and handle emotions better.

Then comes the seeker or the spiritual practitioner, in a stage of "concious competence". He has formulated the way to act as per principles and is trying not to let his feelings overtake right living, through abhyasa and knowledge.

And finally is the enlightened one, who can afford not to be careful about his reactions any more, since they have been programmed into right conduct. Like a professional car driver, he is now in "unconcious competence".